HumaneWatch

We’ve made a point of explaining that the Humane Society of the United States raises its money on the false premise that it’s primarily (or even exclusively) engaged in an animal welfare mission on behalf of dogs and cats. HSUS’s own TV ads make a compelling case for this conclusion, since they include very few animals that aren’t of the canine or feline variety.

HSUS has responded that of course it’s engaged in agitating for the rights of elephants, pigs, walruses, chickens, lab rats, cockroaches, killer whales, sharks, and the rest of the earth’s wide-ranging fauna. (OK—Maybe not the cockroaches.) HSUS Chief Operating Officer Michael Markarian even claimed this week in an Arkansas newspaper that “All our members know our mission…” as though there’s nothing surprising about an HSUS that spends less than one-half of one percent of its budget on dog and cat shelters.

But a helpful HumaneWatcher recently sent us a collection of recent HSUS fundraising mailers, and there’s one in particular that you should see. Is HSUS hiding the ball? You be the judge.

You might remember a few weeks back when we discussed the wastefulness of all those logo-branded merchandise mailings from the Humane Society of the United States. HSUS sends an incredible amount of calendars, notepads, keychains, tote bags, lunchboxes, and other assorted junk to prospective and current donors. And an awful lot of it winds up selling for pennies on eBay.

Put "HSUS" into the search engine at eBay, and you'll find a treasure trove of HSUS gizmos, doodads, and other assorted paraphernalia—such as an HSUS dog and cat fleece blanket (opening bid, $12.99), HSUS women’s fleece gloves (starting bid, $12.99), and a 2009 "Tennessee Member" HSUS keychain (yours for just 99 cents). We also saw sweaters, buttons, coffee mugs, calendars, greeting cards, umbrellas, t-shirts, and ... well, the list goes on.

What a way for the Humane Society of the United States to start the week.

The American Institute of Philanthropy (AIP)—a highly respected charity watchdog—just released its quarterly rankings for selected charities all across America. HSUS and the Fund for Animals (which became a part of HSUS in 2005) have both been downgraded to a letter grade of “D.” (Even the kooks at PETA managed to skate by with a C-plus.)

HSUS had been holding steady at “C-minus” for the last two quarters—certainly nothing to brag about. But now AIP reports that HSUS’s fundraising costs are as high as 49 percent, meaning it can cost HSUS 49 cents to raise every dollar. That’s up from a high of 40 cents in AIP's previous rankings of HSUS.

HSUS’s spending on its actual programs (you know, what a charity is supposed to do) now also bottoms out at 49 percent. In other words, HSUS can spend less than half of its budget trying to actually help animals. How embarrassing.

First Charity Navigator downgraded HSUS in April, and now AIP has put HSUS near the bottom of its rankings. Looks like HSUS’s “factory fundraising” practices are finally catching up with it.

But cheer up, HSUS employees. You still have that sweet pension plan.

In the very first HumaneWatch article, I wrote that the Humane Society of the United States needed a dedicated watchdog because (among other reasons) it "has an annual budget around the size of an NFL payroll. It has become too big and too unaccountable. Someone has to pay closer attention."

That's just as true today as it was in February when this project had its launch. But sometimes amid the noise of tax returns and fundraising scandals, it's hard to grasp just how enormous the biggest American animal rights group really is. Here's one useful measure.

Last week the White House released its official accounting of salaries for the hundreds of employees who make the federal government run at the highest level. The bottom line is that the White House is paying 487 employees a total of $38,796,307.

Compare this to HSUS, which—as of December 31, 2008—reported paying 555 employees $37,792,786. That's barely $1 million shy of what it takes to run the whole White House!

The official slogan of the Humane Society of the United States is "Celebrating Animals | Confronting Cruelty."

Maybe it should be "Celebrating Junk Mail | Confronting Checkbooks."

As anyone who has ever been on one of its mailing lists can tell you, HSUS is America's undisputed king of unsolicited tchochkes, geegaws, doo-dads, gizmos, calendars, magnets, tote bags, and other assorted junk. (Those of you who have experienced this first-hand, feel free to chime in.)

This assorted debris will show up in your mailbox if you're a member, if you haven't chipped in yet this year, and even if you've never contributed. And from personal experience I can attest that once they get their hooks in you, it can take 12 weeks or longer to be purged from their mailing lists.

Perhaps HSUS's direct-mail fundraising strategy is to make you feel guilty enough about getting something for free that you actually want to pay for it. Or maybe it's just trying to put its brand name in as many landfills as possible. I don't know. But a HumaneWatcher from Ohio sent us some interesting HSUS-branded merchandise last week, so it's worth taking a good look.

The note she included with these goodies read: "These folks sure have $$ to burn!"

You be the judge.

The über-wealthy Humane Society of the United States continues to baffle ordinary people everywhere by charging pet shelters exorbitant fees to evaluate their operations. We saw this in March with the city of Dallas, which ponied up $25,000 for what amounted to a spiral-bound report card. And now in the city of Superior, Wisconsin, tempers are flaring over a similar arm-and-a-leg evaluation.

HSUS's "Animal Sheltering" website features glowing testimonials from a handful of what the group calls "our clients." The City of Superior's Finance Director is one of them:

We had what I thought was a VERY good meeting today to discuss the report you prepared for us. It has been received very well by the vast majority of individuals who have read it. Jeff and I have met with our City Attorney, Mayor and council leadership and will be working over the next few weeks on identifying who we feel will best fill the role of the task force. Recommendations will be brought forward to the March 16th city council meeting for formal approval...

Keep in mind that this is from a municipal bean-counter, not a shelter professional. In today's Superior Telegram, one of those actual shelter experts had his own choice words to offer:

The Humane Society of the U.S. report is garbage. The report is full of errors. They only talked with us for two hours. The report is based upon money, nothing about animal care.

That's Bill O'Keefe, the Vice President and Treasurer of Superior's Animal Rescue Federation (ARF).

Since HumaneWatch was launched back in February, we've heard a wide variety of reactions. Some readers are angry at the Humane Society of the United States for deceptively cajoling them out of a monthly donation. Others are angry at us for daring to say that Emperor Wayne Pacelle has no proverbial clothes on.

And still others are just throwing up their hands and saying, as one reader e-mailed me last week, "Screw it. If you can't trust the Humane Society of the United States, I guess it's just not possible to contribute to the welfare of animals without getting scammed."

This is one unintended consequence that's easily correctable.