Oct 29 2010
The Newest HSUS Board Member Is Not Smarter than a Fifth Grader
Pity poor Jerry Cesak. The once-bright San Diego radio host has been reduced to “broadcasting” on the Internet, but at least he’s got his love for animals, right? Last week “Little Tommy,” one of the characters on his show, blogged about the newest Board member of the Humane Society of the United States:
Jerry is on this earth to protect animals. In his home, he’s obviously a vegetarian, so there isn’t anything with meat in his refrigerator or in his pantry and you will not find a leather shoe or piece of furniture made from any animal. Jerry has a fleet of cars and none of them have leather interiors. Jerry will wear a 5 thousand dollar suit, but when you look down at his shoes, he’s wearing cheap almost plastic shoes—-no leather.
Let’s see: Vegetarian, plastic shoes, wealthy enough to own “a fleet of cars,” wears “5 thousand dollar suit[s].” Wayne Pacelle may have met his long-lost identical twin.
The odd thing about Little Tommy’s essay, though, is that it ended by noting that “Jerry shared a letter he wrote to all his close friends.” And there was a link to that essay.
But now both the link, and Cesak’s entire essay, are gone. Deleted. Zapped. But don’t worry: We have a copy.
Our favorite part of Cesak's "Dear Friends" letter? HSUS’s newest board member wrote (emphasis added):
Included in the long list of [Wayne Pacelle’s] remarkable accomplishments: HSUS membership has more than doubled to 11 million. That’s 33% of America.
Read that again. Not only does HSUS not have anywhere near 11 million members, but 11 million is definitely not one-third of the American population. It's not even one-third of California.
Wayne sure can pick 'em.
For the record, the U.S. population is just a tad over 307 million. HSUS’s unrealistic “11 million” number—even if it were true—would represent less than 3.6 percent of the total.
And since we know HSUS’s real membership number is closer to 450,000 (that’s how many copies of its membership magazine are printed every other month), the real percentage of Americans who are HSUS members is—drum roll, please—one-seventh of one percent, or 0.1466% for you mathletes out there. (Not you, Jerry.)
The Humane Society of the United States has made some truly boneheaded mistakes since Wayne Pacelle took over. Its weak response after Hurrican Katrina comes to mind, as well as its lack of any meaningful response after the Gulf of Mexico oil spill. And, of course, there’s the Michael Vick fiasco.
But putting Jerry Cesak on the Board could rank right up there with the biggest reputation-destroying moments of idiocy in HSUS’s history.
Here’s the meat of Jerry Cesak’s essay. (We read it so you don't have to.) It was originally dated October 24, 2010, and purged—almost!—from the Internet a few days later.
Dearest Friends,
I have some news! No – I’m not back to work yet.
I have something here that’s pretty huge. (…that’s what she said…)
... [vacuous HSUS marketing copy skipped] ...
The President and CEO of HSUS is Wayne Pacelle ... In addition to being a dear friend, Wayne is one of my very few heroes.
Under Wayne’s innovative guidance and wisdom, HSUS has become the most influential, most effectual animal protection organization in the world. Included in the long list of his remarkable accomplishments: HSUS membership has more than doubled to 11 million. That’s 33% of America.
... [17 paragraphs of blather skipped] ...
It was a stunning experience to wake up this morning and say to myself, “My God. I’m on the Board of Directors of the Humane Society of the United States”. I know you’ll understand when I tell you that now – someday it will be OK with me to die …
... [1 more long paragraph skipped] ...
So there’s the big news around our house today. I know this was kinda long. (…that’s what she said…) Thanks for slogging through it.
And yes, you may treat me to a Karl Strauss Amber Lager. Or twelve.
You stay classy, Jerry! Your copy of Math for Dummies is on its way.
And don’t worry, Wayne. You can replace him in three years (if you still have a job).
Image: The Social Diary
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Posted on 10/29/2010 at 05:30 PM by the HumaneWatch Team
Announcements • Animal Agriculture • Disasters • (10) CommentsComments
Looks like Wayne’s got himself a bottom feeder here. Except maybe bottom feeders eat fish. And they don’t blather on ad nauseum.
Well, not to be nit picky or anything, but this guy is NOT a vegetarian from this description, he’s a vegan.
There’s a diffrerence, people, and I don’t understand why we are willing to insult good vegetarians who do not (in my experience at least) think that the rest of the world needs to eat their diet, much less corrupt the legislative process to insure that.
Vegetarians are with those of us who do eat meat, though they do not. Vegetarians mostly do use dairy products, and many use eggs and fish as well. They wear wool and leather as often as not, use honey and wear silk. They keep pets and do not perceive laying hens as slaves.
Vegans on the other hand aren’t that flexible. Vegans believe their lifestyle - which includes no animal products or companions whatever of any kind at all - is the only moral, ethical way to live, and they see no problem at all with corrupting the legislative process and the legal system to make sure you, too, can participate in that moral lifestyle. To them any means to an end is an acceptable principle, and the end they are focused on is the legal definition of animal ownership to mean animal abuse.
So - let’s not continue to abuse vegetarians by pretending there is no difference between them and vegans eh?
I don’t think the line is quite so clear on vegetarians and vegans. There are thick fuzzy lines when you talk to those who call themselves vegetarians and/or vegans and what their ideology or philosophy as well as habits are. They are as varied on thier positions regardless of how they define themselves. Its like the term factory farm… there is no one accepted definition and it is very blurry depending on who you talk to. The term was coined and is mostly used by anti-animal ag and environmental activists, not by the agriculture industry. Many will say that industrialization of ag determines the use of the term factory farm, however, all ag has been to some degree industrialized. No one, not even plain sect farmers, use the same practices as 75 years ago. Labels can be misleading….
I think the line was pretty clear until people started realizing where vegans and ARists were going, and then the line started to get blurry.
The AR organizations are glad to blur ALL the lines, and muddle all the definitions; that way they can confuse people into letting them redefine terms like ‘puppy mills’ (to animal lovers, high volume commercial breeders, to them, anyone who breeds even one litter), ‘factory farms’ (to AgriBiz the only possible way to raise meat, to ARists anyone who raises any animal for meat, milk, eggs or fiber) ‘animal abuse’ (to anmal lovers brutality to animals, to ARists, anyone who owns animals).
If words don’t mean anything in particular, they can be made to mean anything at all, which in a court of law is a very dangerous proposition. I realize that since I went to school, all has become very fuzzy where academics are concerned, but if we are willing to let extremist radicals redefine terms as suits them, then maybe we deserve what we get.
I propose to fight, not only for my right to own animals and use them humanely, but also for the language, without which we are pretty much helpless.
It’s standard for inept top managers or those with a counterproductive agenda to try to pack the board with supporters or (as in this case) the undead. Geezzz—I hope the first thing “she said” was “$100 in advance.”
Next technique: Beer and (vegetarian) ravioli for lunch prior to board meetings. But I doubt Wayne needs any advice from me.
Thanks for keeping us informed, HW!
I suck at math and wear cheap shoes. Can I get on the HSUS board?
This guy is not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but he’s good for comic relief. Just like Wayne Pacelle.
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Wait.they picked a vegetarian on the board of directors? I thought they didn’t have a vegan agenda? Why not put a humane free range grass fed farmer there? hmmm