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Humaniacs, Part 5: PETA Pushes for Orwellian Changes in Our Language

Radical vegans want you to not only change the way you eat, but also the way you talk—they’re attempting to kill two birds with one stone. Or rather, feed two birds with one scone, as the vegan-approved saying would go.

Ugh. According to the Independent:

PETA suggests “bringing home the bagels” as opposed to the bacon and instead of “putting all your eggs in one basket”, why not try “putting all of your berries in a bowl”?

Some might call this political correctness. Others would say it’s Orwellian in the aims to completely change language in the name of furthering a movement. The meat of the matter is it reeks of censorship.

This is the core problem with radical veganism: It’s not about convincing people—it’s about forcing people. It’s about lobbying the government to put a tax on meat or to make day-to-day operations harder for farmers. It’s about enacting bans on eggs and pork produced through conventional methods. It’s about screaming in your face for daring to eat a steak. It’s about making you use different figures of speech. This is soy-fueled authoritarianism and they want nothing short of the whole hog. (Oops.)

PETA has an entire blog post filled with these cringe-inducing alternatives. Here are some of the best (read: worst) cuts:

  • Be the guinea pig → Be the test tube
  • Hold your horses → Hold the phone
  • Bring home the bacon → Bring home the bagels
  • Beat a dead horse → Feed a fed horse
  • More than one way to skin a cat → More than one way to peel a potato

Are you excited to live in a world where everyone uses those terms? Most people aren’t. Vegans, feel free to eat your quinoa and tofu, but when normal people use normal phrases, don’t have a cow.

For more stories in our “Humaniacs” series, click here.